Have you ever heard the nagging voice in your head that critizises your every decision? The one that converts all your mistakes or accidents in the end of the world?
Hello inner critic!
Truth is, we all have one, the important thing is, what do we do with it. Do you let it run wild telling you mean things every step of the way, or, do you listen, reflect and learn from it?
The inner critic is the judgmental part of our mind, often holding us to impossible standards.
It is developed based on our past experiences, cultural and social rules and for the most part, it protect us from any perceived failure or harm by keeping us within our "safe" and prevents us from taking risks to avoid rejection, disappointment, or mistakes.
I recently tore my ACL and MCL while practicing a kick for my Taekowndo belt test.
I could feel it the moment I started running, the fear of not being able to break the board building, the voice in my head started creating stories about not being able to make it.
And then bang ... I felt to the ground, my leg not able to bear any weight.
I kept hearing all the things I should have done and how I was so stupid, Ihad done this kicks dozens of times.
It has been very long three months since I got hurt. I had surgery and am on my way to recovery. And during that time, the voice of my inner critic has been loud and clear.
At the beginning it was very loud letting me know how stupid I was, how I had ruined my family vacations and how I should not pretend that I am 20 anymore.
This only increased my anxiety, thinking on how difficult it was going to be to recover.
Turning the Inner Critic into your Aly
But at some point, I started listening a little closer and asked what was it trying to tell me. I reconized that I was afraid of what would happen if my leg didn't healed all the way.
By listeining to my inner critic, I was able to recognize that I was simply afraid, that there were a lot of unkowns and it was OK to have all those feelings.
When you allow the feelings to sinnk in, you can ride the wave and come to shore, to a more calmer ocean.
What I discovered, was that I had tore my ACL doing flying side kicks with my kid and I what I was most afraid of, was not being able to do it anymore.
See, the inner critic sometimes prevents us from being hurt, but in doing so it also hides our feelings. Now I know that I will be able to recover and even if I don't get to be a black belt with my kid, the memory of that day will be forever with me.
After all, I went to the ER after breaking a board with a flying side kick, how many 50+ year old women get to say that!
Compassion is a powerful practice, but it only happens when we get curious about the voices and the narratives we tell outselves.
When we get curious and we have compassion, we see possibilities. You can start changing your narrative for a more possitive tone, you can start seeing the possitive in the things you have done and learn from your mistakes.
To practice compassion, you ca start small:
Check the inner critic: If you wouldn't talk to your best friend the way you are talking to you, change the tone
Recognize tht mistakes happen
When you start criticizing yourself, ask your voice what are you afraid of
Talk to your friends about your fears, we all have them
The Ripple Effect of Self-Compassion
The beautiful thing about self-compassion is that it has a ripple effect. It extends to others a we are able to have more tolerance and awareness.
We are willing and able to release the judgments, recognice that we have an internal voice that works as a warning, we listen to it, we check for danger and we decide if we freeze, change direction or move forward.
This convert us into more resilient human beings.
Do you want to transform you inner critic and turn it into the fuel that keeps you going? Let me help you and share the journey with you.
There are multiple ways you can work with me, the easiest is to book a strategy session to see how Coaching can help you break through hidden beliefs and reconnect with your most authentic self to build a life of growth, choice, and deeper relationships.
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